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My Sweetheart
March 2025 | Adaptation of "The Robber Bridegroom" - Brothers Grimm
HIS PHONE lit up for the first time that evening, and he was scared to see if it was another text from his mother. He's got a day job, works the night shift, and seriously doesn't have time to go window shopping for nice spouse-to-be's at bars, or clubs. So he doesn't really understand why his mother was always on his back about finding someone to settle down with. Between his gig working at the local print shop and covering graveyard shifts at the nearest convenience store, times were just tough. His degree in computer science had only gotten him so far in this dank town and the best he could hope for was getting an IT job at the library, or public school. He considered looking for freelance work again, but instead settled for continuing to work on his project that night.
When his phone lit up again beside his computer he sighed. Maybe he'd be better off to just lie and tell her he's met someone. In a sense, maybe he had, but he didn't think it worked that way. It wasn't like he wanted to lie to her, of course he wished it were true. He was just too busy right now, and he wished she'd understand that.
The rumble of his phone and his mother's picture on his screen told him he should've looked at his phone three notifications ago. With all the retaliation he could muster, he took a sip of his coffee hoping he didn't feel as bitter as it after the call.
"Hey Mom, is everything alright?"
"Honey, why don't you ever check your phone?! You know what-" Her son settled back into his chair, preparing himself, "-it doesn't matter! I met this sweet person the other day and I convinced them to meet you!"
"What?!"
He can hear the absolute glee in the bounce of his mother's voice, "I know you're free this Sunday, give them a chance?!"
"Who even is this person?!"
"Honey don't worry about it, they moved in with their grandmother in town recently and started work at the bakery. Come on, they're sweet, I even showed them pictures of you!"
Guy groaned and rubbed the back of his neck and his mother already knew she'd won, "Their name is Janie, meet them outside the bakery at 2 PM this Sunday, you can pick them up after their shift and have dinner together."
"Alright Mom," He nodded and made a note on his calendar hung up on the wall adjacent to his desk.
"Keep me posted, Honey, I'd like to know if I ought to keep going to that bakery afterwards!" She chuckled and he knew she was smiling on the other end of town.
"Will do, Mom, I hope you have a good night."
"I love you sweetie, I'm always thinking of you."
"I love you too, Mom."
Dinggg, someone left a comment on his site. He doesn't have a chance.
OUTSIDE THE BAKERY Guy waited for Janie, he made it right around 2 o'clock and got a glimpse of some of the staff through the window. While driving over he had the uncomfortable realization that Janie knew what he looked like, but he had no idea about them. Easily Janie was comparable to any one of the tarts sitting behind glass inside the bakery. Perhaps all desserts know who's taking them out.
Thankfully he wasn't given much more time to worry about his situation since he heard someone call out his name as they practically jumped out from behind the bakery doors. "Hey! I met your mother, name's Janie!" Their hair was like gold honey and behind the shadow of the hair in their face, he could see cherry red cheeks. He didn't want to decide on their character already, but at least they were cute, probably around his age too. A part of him relaxed knowing this random person his mother made plans for him with might actually show some promise, even if he wasn't all in it.
"Sorry, I should've asked her for your number, but I wouldn't forget that face from anywhere." They said, and dotted his nose with a finger as if it was the frosting on a cake. Their smile made their cheeks look even more like round cherries. "It might be a little forward, but I was planning to make you dinner tonight. Let's go to my place."
Guy leaned on the back of one of his heels and pursed his lips. He supposed he was driving so even if this date went south he could just leave. Janie's smaller build made him shake off the idea of anything really going awry that night. Also– wait, don't they live with their grandmother? What was he worried about? Decidedly he said, "That sounds alright with me." It's really more of a situation of what Janie might be comfortable with. It's not like the guy was that intimidating or anything, he just worked desk jobs or coded when he could at home! Still, the two were strangers beyond his mother sending them off to break bread.
Once in the car he asked for the address to put in his phone, but Janie insisted they tell him the directions instead, since it was nearby. Alas, Guy did his best to pay attention to where they were going. Left… Straight… Straight… It almost reminded him of someone, hearing them rant about bakery customers, and what they made today. Straight… Left… Straight… Maybe if he pretends it could be real…
"Right," Janie said.
"Right." Said Guy.
When Guy pulled up to the house he hadn't known his mistake in not questioning how Janie was comfy bringing a stranger home. Really he was more focused on the mild lie they told him about their house being close by. Strike one for Janie. Nearby his ass, sure it was an offshoot from mainstreet, but that was a few more miles than he felt comfortable with freestyling. 15 minutes, maybe 9 miles? Glancing at his phone on the dash, he saw there was no service for him to check the maps with.
He repeated to himself… left, straight, straight, straight, left, straight right.
THE DRIVEWAY only had one car parked in it which he presumed was either Janies or their grandmothers, so Guy backed his car in front of it.
Their house looked pretty standard for the rural backstreets of their small town. Craftsman, cheap siding, cute boxy windows, uniquely he noted the insurmountable cat decorations. For instance, hung beside the front door was a metal cat with curly eyelashes and kitschy swirl details. Yeah it was a grandma's house. Based on the flourishing bushes and flowering plants along the front of the house and its patio, he could tell she was one of those gardener grannies. EVen with the garish decorations sprawled throughout, he could still see she was skilled with a trowel.
Once inside the house, it only confirmed his growing suspicions: Grannie's House. He'd kept looking up and down from the quilted flower pot covers, to the little colorful cat knick knacks– which she definitely found in a home and garden store– no hate– just he was starting to think someone might mistake that cats actually lived there. However, there was not a cat in sight and no cat towers or toys, just Janie who called his attention to follow them into the kitchen.
"Your mom probably told you, but this really is my grandma's house, I'm just staying here until I find a place." Janie said.
"Meow," Was all Guy said, before he could think twice about it.
Janie just laughed and put their hands on their hips, "You know, I was wondering if she had a cat." So that was it, no cat afterall.
"So what are we making tonight?" Guy asked.
Some nights when Guy was taking a break from his project, he'd practice his html and css on his website. That said, it was mostly filled with devlogs related to his projects. No, not diary entries. His mother calls them that. Besides the logs, he really would take the time to make his site a space dedicated to his interests. The personal web was good for that, and it was inspiring to see all the types of interests people were passionate about enough to share. His own site revolved around video games, his projects and their progress, creating mimics of existing sites, and sharing recipes. A double life, he knew. One minute he's all about the kitchen, the next his computer is his lifeline. Yeah, he nearly lived on his computer, but his mother didn't send him out into the world without knowing a thing or two about good food. In other words, he'd love to help Janie out.
"I was thinking chicken and vegetables with some rice, what do you think?"
Guy was a little surprised everything seemed to be going smoothly and Janie was so much fun to work with in the kitchen. The two laughed as they stumbled around the kitchen for where certain knives were, even the rice cooker was a mystery until Janie found it in one of the lower cabinets. They informed him that they had in fact cooked in this kitchen before, but they didn't need the rice cooker yet. Janie was making his day and for once, there was someone in real life that made him love the world a little more. The two of them were talking about spices, Janie more so in the way you use them in baking, Guy more so in regards to savory dishes. Janie decided then and there that they had to get a spice from the pantry in the basement, it'd be perfect for what they were making.
His personal recipe was a lot like this dish, including chicken, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, lemon, garlic, and ground pepper.. All they needed was thyme.
With Janie away he was on his own in the kitchen just stirring the vegetables in the pan. It was all too funny, this was one of his favorite recipes. Maybe the combination of spices were common, but it was crazy they chose one of his favorite dishes for dinner. Even over the car ride they mostly just talked about Janie's experience with the bakery and he contributed that he worked at the print shop, no mention of favorite foods. If anything, over the discussion he realized he met Janie's boss at the print shop for fliers the bakery needed in the past.
"So you must be Janie's fiance, they told me a lot about you." Someone said behind him, which startled him enough to fling flong a carrot out of the pan. It sputtered on the stove top. That must be the gardener, she's checking on her vegetables.
"Sorry, finance?" He turned around with a smile to find a small elderly woman, "You must be Janie's grandmother, and I think you're mistaken, I just met them today."
"Did you know that family is coming over tonight?" She didn't even bother to respond to his denial. Instead, her soft, kind, drooping face just looked tired. Guy didn't even know what to say, it had got to be some sort of joke, "You don't know what you're getting into boy, that kid is cra-"
Janie came back into the kitchen, "Grandma! I didn't know you were up yet, we're still making dinner."
"You invited family over?" The grandmother asked.
"Of course! They've got to meet Guy, come on, did you think I lied about my fiance living in town?" Janie crossed their arms playfully before they smiled and handed Guy the spice they fetched from downstairs, "See we have your favorite."
Guy blinked down and read the label of his favorite spice, thyme. It was his favorite spice. His mind was drawing a blank.. The grandmother must have taken the cat out of the bag, and Janie just knew it was too late to act like anything but what they were.
"Janie– do you have any chives to add into the vegetables?" There was no way what was happening was real.
"Don't be silly, we both know that's not in the recipe, you goof!" They leaned on his shoulder and looked down into the pan, "Maybe we've never cooked this together before, but that doesn't mean I forgot!"
They were right again, if they were following his recipe, but.. No… no that can't be right. He wanted to back out, get out, leave. Whatever option was fastest he wanted to get out, but the weight of Janie leaning on him with such familiarity held him still.
"How do– Sorry, where is your bathroom?"
Janie' grandmother patted his back which made them give him some space, "I'll show you the way" She guided him down the hall, every kooky kitty decoration seemed to watch them as they passed. It was as if they were looking out for their fellow kniving feline. Eventually she led him to a screen door to the back yard, "This could be a way out, the bathroom is on the right."
"– Has this happened before?" He didn't know if he could trust her.
"I don't trust that kid. I didn't trust that kid when they said they wanted to move in. I didn't trust that kid actually had a fiance in this town. There's always been something off about Janie… I don't want any part of it. Just get out of my house."
Before he could say anything he was pushed out the door and the click behind him was all he needed to hear to know it was time to go.
HE STARTED HIS CAR, still dismayed that there was no signal on his phone at this silly old house in the woods. The way to town. The way to town. The way to town. He could find his way back to town. He could find the way. At least that was what he told himself as the words spun into a whirlpool of thoughts. Thoughts that tried to pull his head right off and out the window of his car. His only option was to mechanically put it into drive and hit the gas. His body was just a tool as he struggled to feel settled within it again. He drove as if he were an elderly person who mistakenly put on the death metal station on the freeway. Screaming, screaming at full blast but couldn't hear a thing. All he could see was the road in front of him, as everything fell back behind his head.
Slow, a solid 35 miles per hour.
Left.
Straight.
Right.
Straight.
Straight.
Straight.
Right– Main Street!
All he had to do was go his usual route home. The thing was he had no idea what to think about what just happened back at that house. One moment they were having a nice time cooking dinner, the next their grandmother was suggesting his date was crazy. And what was going on about the fiance bit?! Now that he was on the main roads home, he finally was feeling his heart unclench itself and his soul sink into his body, he sank into his driver's seat. How did they know those things about him? Why were they lying about being engaged? Their family was coming over tonight?! All he wanted to do was go home, sit at his desk, and work on his project. Maybe then he could get himself together.
AT HOME Guy did what he normally would on his Sunday's off, type out code as if it were prose. No one, besides maybe one, knew about the project. It was like poetry to him, stringing just the right combination of C# until it was a song, powerful enough to move hearts. It wasn't a huge project, a smaller sort. It was a love letter aided by artists he'd commissioned over the last few months. The background art and sprites for a little 2D world. It was just three steps farther than something he'd make for a game jam, but it took him ten times longer due to his work schedule.
The character was sweet like a tart behind the glass in a bakery. He didn't know what to name them, despite everything he could hope to know. All he could do was code. Program the bounce of their marmalade hair, and the glow of their peachy cheeks. The pleasant story of a lovely baker, who loved to make tarts lovingly. The background was a kitchen with sickly sweet lemonbar countertops and a licorice stove.
When he started receiving comments from JellyMarmalanie he knew he had to see if they had a website of their own. What fun is the personal web if people didn't try to connect with each other? That being said, he didn't really share his site all that much, and it was rare to see his view count go up, let alone someone actually leaving a comment in his chat box. Jelly, for short, had a site discussing their baking hobby, included a blog, and had one whole page dedicated to the difference between jellies and marmalades. Maybe they found him through some sort of cooking forum he commented on. In their About they didn't give a name but they did talk about their passions. It was through their blog entries he was able to know them.
That's how he got into making his secret gift for jellymarmalanie.com. Albeit, it was probably more for himself than the kind stranger that had the grace to interact with him every once in a while on his site.
For the rest of the night he coded his sweetheart's digital love letter. And when his mother texted him about the date, he made sure to text her back.
Over the following nights after work he finalized, tested the game, and named the character. Despite it being for himself, he sent it.
HE BUZZ of his doorbell that Sunday told him all he needed to know. It was the chime of bees and honeyed apple pie. Honeyed apple pie, lemon bars, fruit tarts, cherries. Jellies… He opens the door to see the one and only. "It is you…"
"It's me." They were holding up a jar of orange marmalade with a smile sweeter than five tablespoons of sugar.
He knew that date was all wrong. He barely could believe he went on it when he could have had this all along.
He gestured for them to come into the dinning room where his mother was already seated, settled, and comfy with a cup of tea.
Freshly made strawberry rhubarb pie was set on the table. Normally he wouldn't attempt such a feat but for them… he would make anything.
His mother was all smiles as everyone else got settled in their chairs at the table when Guy said to them, "I will tell you my dream."
"In a bakery was someone I hadn't known I'd met a dozen times before. That someone came out and made me dinner, one that I'd never forget because it was my favorite."
His mother seemed curious, and the special guest holding marmalade looked as if they were about to say something, but Guy continued with a shimmer in his eye just for them, "Sweetheart, that's not the end of the dream. Then when I thought I'd never see them again, and mistakenly hoped I wouldn't, I sent a letter that only someone who really knew my heart would understand. And there they were."; He took the guest hand.
";Mom, this is Janie, I know this might sound sudden, but they are my fiance.";
At these words Janie grew pink and sprang up from their seat. He thought they would have escaped his grasp, but rather they held onto his hand for dear life. They, for all they were, were commended and espoused for the rest of their days.